maaxxyyy
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Star this Commitment
Day 6 of 6
maaxxyyy commits to:
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- meditation (10+ min) *** - visualization (10+ min) *** - meal - schedule mid - meal - visualization (can be quick) end - meal - clean notes + plan next day *** - backup/security - finances - mail + lent/borrowed - retainers - visualization (can be quick)
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My Commitment Journal
 maaxxyyy
October 10, 2020, 1:29 AM
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10/09 end - meal - clean notes + plan next day - backup/security - finances - mail + lent/borrowed - retainers - visualization |
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maaxxyyy
October 9, 2020, 5:51 PM
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10/09 mid - meal - visualization |
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maaxxyyy
October 9, 2020, 11:23 AM
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10/09 start - meditation (19 min) - visualization (10 min) - meal - schedule mid: 11:30 end: 3:30 feel ok today yesterday was horrible lol i again didn't notice it DURING ... but i guess it was burnt out feeling? OR could be from bad sleep i'm not sure lol. but like, i wrote down how much resistance i was feeling while working ... and afterward the day was horrible and i didn't feel like doing anything and was in such a horrible cranky mood ... and i didn't realize that this is the same pattern again? like i tend to feel like that ... every now and then. it's like a cycle. so i think it's when ... either when i'm burnt out, or not enough sleep, i'm not sure. but. it's wild that i don't really realize it during the ... "episode." i just like get mad at myself or like ... idk. yesterday was good because i set the boundary of like ok no, at this time i'm gonna stop ... so i'm getting better ... but i didn't recognize it during it of what was happening lol so i gotta get better at that. cool that i'm noticing now though. it's cause i feel a little better today. yeah. that's the pattern. i think it's burnt out ... then feel like complete shit even when i'm taking time off, still feel horrible, like, i'm still angry and cranky during the time off ... then slowly feel better. just think it's wild because i've barely been doing any work it feels like. like 2 hours a day lol. so weird man, idk. well actually. i guess... 2 hours and then plus random stuff in the afternoon like maybe errands or ... hmmm so i guess it's a little more than 2 hours. i guess just still upset that i like ... don't get that much done lol. also upset at how much time i'm taking off it seems like although clearly i'm still getting burnt out. idk. but i think i'm getting better and ... yeah. like my worst days i'm doing everything on this list which is FANTASTIC. like ... i should be proud or like ... yeah. i'm meditating/visualizing every day, eating three meals, wearing retainers, backing up, etc. etc. lol i should be proud. slowly but surely i'm getting there i think. anyway yeah. feel a little better today lol we'll see also got like inspiration to work on music from angel olsen so we'll see. (you'll never be mine) oh yeah also the "taking time off thing" lol. "taking time off" aka actually living life / relaxing / doing what i want to do or i mean like. i think that's actual "life," the rest is working to achieve something so like ... it's wild that i've become like this, whether it's capitalism, or just our culture/society, or like school / other people / idk lol but anyway. yeah. |
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maaxxyyy
October 9, 2020, 12:21 AM
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10/08 end - meal - clean notes + plan next day - backup/security - finances - mail + lent/borrowed - retainers - visualization |
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