kaizenempress
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Don't rope him into what I want for...
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Day 7 of 7
kaizenempress commits to:
Making remarks about the future that make him feel beholden to me even though he might not want to be 😢
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My Commitment Journal
 kaizenempress
September 20, 2020, 10:27 PM
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Me: I did some serious auditing last night and came to the conclusion that I can he controlling. I act out in anger, use guilt to get what I want, criticize your habits, use too many playful putdowns, snoop like I did yesterday with that card, get too jealous and paranoid, don't always respect your need for space and to recharge, make you feel bad for your habits and mindset because I see mine as being superior at times, and hypocritically pressure you into unhealthy behaviors at times. I told myself that it was important to me to be a wife, mother & CEO. After experiencing a failed marriage with an emotionally unavailable person, I become infatuated with wanting to marry yoi. I wanted the dream, with the person who loves and values me the most. The concept of marriage is honestly not as important to me as us - you and I, our strength as a couple, and who we are individually...our growth, thriving, joy, fulfillment and wellbeing. I realized I make remarks about the future that make you feel beholden to me even though you might not want to be 😢 Like marriage, school, kids, etc. I'd rather focus on what we both emphatically agree on and take it as slow as neccesary to be strong. Him: I mean ya I guess you do do all those things but the vast majority of times I don't really think anything of it. I get irritated sometimes but it's not something I want you to beat yourself up over. I do want marriage and school and maybe kids. I'm just not in a hurry. I'm curious to see where those realizations go with you. Just don't get all depressed over it ok. I made up my mind a long time ago and you bitching about my habits doesn't really give me second thoughts. |
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