rizashaimerden
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Tell my father how i really feel
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rizashaimerden commits to:
Think of the ways i am deluding my father, and the things that are kind of unspoken but are there and that are making me feel guilty, and him, from what i can say, also feel crappy.
I would want to tell him about our difference, and teh ways that i fucked up and judged him for nothing, i would want to clarify to him what i really think now, especially about the think that i no loger have a rigid stances on.
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My Commitment Journal
 rizashaimerden
March 25, 2020, 5:47 AM
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So, i talked to my fatehr today in the morning. I was afraid that smth can go wrong, that he might get angry and i will make the home's atmosphere more unhappy, but it actually went ok. I was nervous and did not know where to start, and it felt not normal. We did not do such talking much. But he actually was open to talking and i am grateful to him taht he did not get nervous and was calm. I actually got calm too. So, i told him less than half of what was in my head. But i think that was a good thing too. At least, i am a bit more honest with him now. I talked about my emotional turbuence and a bit about the resentment that i assume i have towards him. I worried that he is taking the guilt on himself for my emotional turbuence, and that made me feel guilty because i was afraid that by making him feel bad i am making our whole family less happy and adding a headache to everyone. So, i said that i have that problem there and here too, and that it is my problem, so it is fine. And by the end it felt better i hink. At least, it was more relaxed for me, and for him, from what i can tell, too. So, cool. I now, can proceed with the next module, which i can't wait to start. It is conversations module. I also want to write out the summary of the confidence course, and apply the lessons. And the sentence completion, i think, has to continue too. |
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rizashaimerden
March 21, 2020, 1:55 AM
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| So, now i committed to it. | |
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