bignigey01
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No Pornography
Star this Commitment
Week 33 of 52
bignigey01 commits to:
No masturbation for a year
32
0
Last reported: Success
Next report due:
May 8
11:00 PM GMT
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My Commitment Journal
 bignigey01
May 2, 2026, 6:59 PM
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| Haven’t had many urges this week. It feels as though I’ve exhausted all the dopamine of porn I would like to see. Stress wise, this week hasn’t been as bad. I’ve gotten rid of YouTube, my PS5 and the dating apps to detox from them - Instagram is next. Still, with less things to preoccupy me, it may prove challenging. I recently opened up to a CBT therapist from uni about my pornography addiction and the reflexive instincts to look at female physiques. The therapist said they would need to discuss this with their supervisor but does not feel it needs escalating- I hope so. Even whilst writing this, I’m experiencing intrusive thoughts of the potential consequences of telling people. I’d rather die before there was even a remote possibility of me acting on my thoughts related to young people. The last year has finally affected me in terms of how pornography has required my brain to the point of it ruining my romantic life. | |
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bignigey01
April 27, 2026, 11:47 AM
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| Lately I have felt more aroused in a long time because I have had direct access to pornography. The safe search function was easy to turn on/off and Google chrome was removed from my blocked apps list for some reason. Nonetheless I still haven’t succumbed to my urges. Partly because I genuinely want to know what it’s like to go a year without masterbating. I even fantasize about masterbating lately. I have felt overwhelmed lately, mainly due to still not driving and the audit assignment. The latter is done but I’m steadily working towards making the former a reality. | |
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bignigey01
April 18, 2026, 7:12 AM
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| This is the hardest week so far as I hit a crisis point as it’s the most aroused I’ve been in a long time. The audit assignment that was due this week had me really overwhelmed. So much so that my mind started to be flooded with other things to worry about. Because of that I ended up going on my laptop to see various porn pics from websites I used to visit (Jonni Darkko, Jules Jordan, K Klixen). Thankfully I didn’t succumb to my urges as I contacted the Samaritans for emotional support, as well as James, my accountability partner. After a frank talk with the latter, they agreed they can still check in on me despite difficult their life has been. Thankfully I still have the willpower to urge surf but I do fantasize about cumming. I recently had a flexible cystoscopy which was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. I was concerned becoming aroused after this procedure would be painful. Thankfully not. Even after all of this, I’m still curious to know what it’s like to go a year without masterbating. | |
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bignigey01
April 11, 2026, 9:27 AM
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| Had some urges this week but they haven’t been that strong. Usually fantasize about Bella Bellz and Lela Star. Also noticed that I feel I have to force myself to feel aroused. Also fantasized about a match I had on Tinder recently who has big tits. Got as far as Instagram but soon fizzled out. Heading over to RNB brunch to see if there are women who are my type there. Not that I’m pushing myself to interact with anyone. | |
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