Celibate one year Star this Commitment
Week 26 of 52

leafboy commits to:
No p*rn consumption
No masturbation
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My Commitment Journal
November 15, 2023, 6:53 PM
Oof caffeine is a tricky one. Adenosine is a waste product of ATP and is used to signal the brain to rest. For example, when we exercise(especially more intensive exercise), adenosine levels increase and signals your body to rest. Caffeine is an adenosine receptor antagonist (competitive antagonist), meaning it blocks the receptor from receiving adenosine.

I think adenosine is basically recycled during sleep. This paper,dark%20period%20also%20increases%20ATP. says when neuronal activity is reduced (i.e at rest), a surge of ATP occurs during sleep. On the more nerdier side, AMP activated protein Kinase is an enzyme that plays a crucial role in cellular energy homeostasis and its levels are lower during the ATP surge mentioned in the paper. On a physiological level these pieces of evidence provide the context for the molecular events leading to restorative biosynthetic processes during sleep.
November 15, 2023, 5:31 PM
Vanessa Van Edwards, a body language expert, states that women in the courtship phase will have to show 3 signals that they are interested, like exposing her neck, playing with her hair, and leaning towards us to show that they are interested. Men aren't as adept at picking up body language signals as women are so it is not surprising for men to lose courtship opportunities b/c they didn't register the signals.
Vanessa cites a study in which men and women are shown pictures and the participants deciphering the meaning of the body language shown, and the results show women's brains had 15 areas highlighted while men's had 4 areas highlighted. This shows a significant difference between how men and women think about body language.

Interesting. Vanessa offers some questions during a date that allow you to know more deeply about someone, see whether y'all allign with one another, and avoid the typical scripted conversational questions like "What do you do for fun?".

The first question is "What is your bucket list? And have you completed any of things on your bucket list?" Thinking to myself, I'm like shit this makes me think about the things I tried but gave up half way. But this really is a good question because you see what she is interested in and the type of person someone is by how they respond.

The second question is "Which family member are you closest to?" THis is also a really good question. My response would be my brothers even though I dearly love my parents.

The third question is "What is the most interesting thing your buying this year?
4th, what would be your dream job if money didn't matter?
5th, Is there a dish you are amazing at cooking?
6th If you could change your work week, how would you plan it?
7th do you prefer planning out your weekend or being spontaneous?
8th If you had a podcast, what would you talk about?
9th What's something you absolutely love doing?
10th What's your favorite band or artist?
11th What's something you wish people knew about you?
12th Which parent are you most like?
Man these are awesome questions. I should develop an answer to these now hehe.
November 15, 2023, 4:48 PM
While I haven't fapped, I consumed some pron this past Monday. It occurred while in the GGC parking deck, soon after I took my biochem exam. (FUCKING caffeine, random thought that came to my head as I was writing). Me and Bhalo were having a conversation about it. I forgot how the conversation got brought up but I was telling him about how I have been struggling with porn. He's already known that I have had it bad cause I told him I get dreams about it when refraining from it, but when I told him that I watched porn in the parking lot at school, he and Rudy were both aghast. They were shocked of the depth of my actions.Anyhoo, we were also talking about women, and using women as a healthy outlet for my sexual frustrations. I told them about the missed opportunities some women have presented me. None of them would lead into anything sexual (besides that one booty call in high school, but told the girl I didn't like like her)...
Bruh literally as I was typing, I noticed this girl I randomly ran into one Tuesday afternoon. She was reading 48 laws of Power and I made a comment saying "nice book" and we started having a conversation afterwards. However, it seems she does not remember me because as she was standing fixing her hair, we made eye contact and a few times and then when I waved my hands and she reciprocated, the way she smiled and waved her hands back didn't seem to be out of recognition of who I was, but rather a polite response to someone greeting you. Just cordial. Hmm, part of me was thinking should I have greeted myself further, but then what is the point? Why am I going out of my way to talk to someone who I just randomly ran into? I feel like if they were male, I probably wouldn't make the extra effort of doing something like that. I think the best option would have been to be more open with my smile and hand wave gesture. If it was more confident and open, I would have atleast made my signal clear. If she didn't recognize it, then that means she forgot who I was and does not show interest in knowing who I am. That is fine. I think next time, I just need to make my signals more clear.
November 13, 2023, 4:11 PM
Fudge, I missed class cause I kept choosing to sleep in. I don't want to keep making these same mistakes! I couldn't help but notice a moment of anger directed towards myself. Then I thought of compassion. Be self-compassionate. Look, you didn't want to sleep in right? You would have preferred to have freshened up, and gotten ready for class.
But how this happens? How do you want to have gotten ready and showed up for class, yet you slept in? Maybe you didn't want to bad enough? I think talking with a therapist or psychologist would be beneficial for this conversation because I don't really know why I have this problem and I have not arrived to a conclusion from thinking about it.
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