LYNORAA
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30 days of sobriety
Star this Commitment
Day 31 of 31
LYNORAA commits to:
Not drinking any alcohol for 30 days
30
1
No more reports due
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My Commitment Journal
 LYNORAA
January 25, 2021, 5:22 AM
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I did the zoom meeting then attempted to go to a meeting the next day. I had the wrong time but talked to a few people who gave me some numbers of women who could talk me. Called both of them. Spoke with one, Gwen, who was very welcoming. She invited me to a meeting on Sunday which I did attend. I felt strange and out of place at first, like I didn’t belong. But everyone was so kind and reassuring that it faded quickly. I related to a lot of the stories but did find myself a few times thinking I’m not nearly as bad as these people and not entirely sure if I need to be here. I had plans on sharing but nerves got the best of me. I did her a phone list and spoke with one of the ladies after the meeting briefly. She encouraged me to reach out if I need to talk and even said she would go to a meeting with me the next day. I’m feeling so much at once and it’s hard to sort through it all. I haven’t come to terms with never drinking again. Right now I’m only committing to 30 days and 30 meetings. They suggested 90/90 to begin with but that seems like biting off more than I can chew at this very moment. I’m struggling with my reason for doing this right now as well. Am I doing this because I truly believe I have a problem and want to change or because Alex thinks I have a problem and I want to fix our relationship? I think it’s a little of both but that scares me because I don’t want to attach the idea that getting sober automatically fixes everything with us or that he would be required to take me back after a certain amount of time in sobriety. I know deep down that there’s a good chance that won’t be the case. The damage that alcohol causes is sometimes irreversible and I need to go into this with that understanding. However it’s important to acknowledge that his setting of boundaries was the final push I needed to get my butt in that chair. I have “gotten away” with this for so long by making excuses, blaming others, and straight up lying/manipulating. He’s the only one who I haven’t been able to do that with and as much as it hurts it’s exactly what I needed. |
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LYNORAA
January 22, 2021, 10:45 PM
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| Day one. I feel ready to do this. I’m commuting to a zoom AA meeting today as well. | |
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